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I have a headache now and a massage would hit the spot. I was just at Croxley's and this crazy woman was giving random people massages in exchange for cigarettes. I should have manned up on that, but I'm not much of a man.
I don't even know why I fucking smoke cigarettes anymore. I don't enjoy it. Lately I've been getting bored mid-cigarette and flicking them away half-smokened. Cancer sticks. Nails in the coffin. I smoke to orally fixate myself. And so that I have something to do with my hands when I'm walking. And because I really do think smoking looks cool. Not so much that I look cool when I smoke, but other people, women. I should quit. It's retarded. Once I find an alternate means of drawn out suicide, I'll quit. Maybe I'll take up cutting. Or driving without a seatbelt. Or eating SARS.
Today was beautiful and I spent it at Haagen Dazs. So it was the first busy day of the year for me. So it was the first busy day of the year for me. So it was the first busy day of the year for me. I never told you peeps about the new girl. She's such a putz, seriously. Her name is Evelyn, except it's spelled Evelhin. Evelhin? Her middle name is probably like "What the fuck just happened?" She's Chilean, which is pretty cool. But her accent, coupled with her tendency to mumble, makes it difficult to understand her. It takes a few repetitions, and when you finally hear her, you're disappointed that it took so much effort to understand something so stupid. I've only worked with her four times and I've already given up on trying to make sense of her zany incoherence. When she says something, I pretend like I'm catching her drift, when in fact I'm doing my best to dodge it. You'd need a mit the size of Shaq to catch her drift.
She's not very common sensical. See, the thing is: I've been working at Fucken Dazs for four years. Four (4) bloody years. And regardless of my contempt for the establishment, I like to maintain a certain order in the store, in order to maintain sanity in the head. It's not like I'm totally anal about it, it's just that things should be in logical places, to promote efficiency/accomodate laziness. Evelhin is a little short on logic. So I'll be looking for something and it won't be in its designated spot because Evelhin has found the most illogical place to put it. I find these plastic spoons that she leaves in the sinks. You can see the question mark appear above my head when I find these spoons and I'm like "Why do you put spoons in the sink?" She was two words into the answer before I regretted asking the question. And when her "answer" was finished, when she trailed off into oblivion, I said "Oh..." when in fact I was thinking "Uh..."
I don't know how it happened, but the drawer was over by $120 at the end of the night. I could be $120 richer right now, but I'm not.
I don't even know why I fucking smoke cigarettes anymore. I don't enjoy it. Lately I've been getting bored mid-cigarette and flicking them away half-smokened. Cancer sticks. Nails in the coffin. I smoke to orally fixate myself. And so that I have something to do with my hands when I'm walking. And because I really do think smoking looks cool. Not so much that I look cool when I smoke, but other people, women. I should quit. It's retarded. Once I find an alternate means of drawn out suicide, I'll quit. Maybe I'll take up cutting. Or driving without a seatbelt. Or eating SARS.
Today was beautiful and I spent it at Haagen Dazs. So it was the first busy day of the year for me. So it was the first busy day of the year for me. So it was the first busy day of the year for me. I never told you peeps about the new girl. She's such a putz, seriously. Her name is Evelyn, except it's spelled Evelhin. Evelhin? Her middle name is probably like "What the fuck just happened?" She's Chilean, which is pretty cool. But her accent, coupled with her tendency to mumble, makes it difficult to understand her. It takes a few repetitions, and when you finally hear her, you're disappointed that it took so much effort to understand something so stupid. I've only worked with her four times and I've already given up on trying to make sense of her zany incoherence. When she says something, I pretend like I'm catching her drift, when in fact I'm doing my best to dodge it. You'd need a mit the size of Shaq to catch her drift.
She's not very common sensical. See, the thing is: I've been working at Fucken Dazs for four years. Four (4) bloody years. And regardless of my contempt for the establishment, I like to maintain a certain order in the store, in order to maintain sanity in the head. It's not like I'm totally anal about it, it's just that things should be in logical places, to promote efficiency/accomodate laziness. Evelhin is a little short on logic. So I'll be looking for something and it won't be in its designated spot because Evelhin has found the most illogical place to put it. I find these plastic spoons that she leaves in the sinks. You can see the question mark appear above my head when I find these spoons and I'm like "Why do you put spoons in the sink?" She was two words into the answer before I regretted asking the question. And when her "answer" was finished, when she trailed off into oblivion, I said "Oh..." when in fact I was thinking "Uh..."
I don't know how it happened, but the drawer was over by $120 at the end of the night. I could be $120 richer right now, but I'm not.
