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In its right place...
Apr. 13th, 2006 03:27 amDon't get me wrong. I've wanted for a while to update.
I just haven't been depressed. And things haven't been wrong.
Certain things--very specific and (as always) trivial things--are wrong. But I've been so happy during the past few months that I haven't cared about any of the things that would normally be wrong enough to cause me discomfort, want of validation for being depressed. I've been surrounded by nice and caring and genuine people that I care about in a nice and genuine way. And the appreciation I have for my peers, especially my NONSENSE peers, seems to be reciprocated. I have so much respect for them, feel my respect accepted by them, and feel respect coming from them. It's a mutual, communal feeling almost alien to me. It's not so much a soothing comfort to feel this way, but a more universal feeling of completion. I don't feel like a burden or a speed bump or a self-promoting promotion of counterproductive anti-self, but a part of some subcultural machinery, working to deconstruct from the inside. Fuck all the bad things that are or that may come or that I may create for myself; I like where I am and who I'm with.
Things have been really good. And in short, this journal, which once was a depository for bad news, has been useless.
My screenplay that I wrote for AVF167 was accepted by the class, and thus am director for our project. That happened about a month ago, and since then I've been hard at work. What I wrote is a cute little movie about kids. It's not a kids' movie, and it's not a coming-of-age deal, but a short film that has kids in it. Today we held auditions in this place called Champions on W 39th st. I think about 9 out of 11 people showed for auditions, and we'll have to make do with the actors we've found. I think I can work within any limitations that are thrown.
I've been devoting every free minute I have to this movie. Until today, I've never been accused of doing more work than is required of me. But this isn't what I'd consider work. I love this movie. No matter how student-made it may turn out, I love this movie and where it could go with the right amount of effort. I'm happy where I am and confident in what I can do. It's really a new feeling for me.
This is me, happy. I know you couldn't care less, but I have a script and storyboards and other things to share. And if you ask to see them, you'd only be fueling me self-satisfaction. But they're available and I'd be more than willing to show them.
I dunno. This is where I am. And I feel good. Things could be better. But fuck things that could be better. I'm happy.
wink wink
I just haven't been depressed. And things haven't been wrong.
Certain things--very specific and (as always) trivial things--are wrong. But I've been so happy during the past few months that I haven't cared about any of the things that would normally be wrong enough to cause me discomfort, want of validation for being depressed. I've been surrounded by nice and caring and genuine people that I care about in a nice and genuine way. And the appreciation I have for my peers, especially my NONSENSE peers, seems to be reciprocated. I have so much respect for them, feel my respect accepted by them, and feel respect coming from them. It's a mutual, communal feeling almost alien to me. It's not so much a soothing comfort to feel this way, but a more universal feeling of completion. I don't feel like a burden or a speed bump or a self-promoting promotion of counterproductive anti-self, but a part of some subcultural machinery, working to deconstruct from the inside. Fuck all the bad things that are or that may come or that I may create for myself; I like where I am and who I'm with.
Things have been really good. And in short, this journal, which once was a depository for bad news, has been useless.
My screenplay that I wrote for AVF167 was accepted by the class, and thus am director for our project. That happened about a month ago, and since then I've been hard at work. What I wrote is a cute little movie about kids. It's not a kids' movie, and it's not a coming-of-age deal, but a short film that has kids in it. Today we held auditions in this place called Champions on W 39th st. I think about 9 out of 11 people showed for auditions, and we'll have to make do with the actors we've found. I think I can work within any limitations that are thrown.
I've been devoting every free minute I have to this movie. Until today, I've never been accused of doing more work than is required of me. But this isn't what I'd consider work. I love this movie. No matter how student-made it may turn out, I love this movie and where it could go with the right amount of effort. I'm happy where I am and confident in what I can do. It's really a new feeling for me.
This is me, happy. I know you couldn't care less, but I have a script and storyboards and other things to share. And if you ask to see them, you'd only be fueling me self-satisfaction. But they're available and I'd be more than willing to show them.
I dunno. This is where I am. And I feel good. Things could be better. But fuck things that could be better. I'm happy.
wink wink
