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We'll swap murders. Criss-cross.
Aug. 21st, 2005 04:03 pmI. Introduction: My State of Mind and Wet Dreams
I think I'm pretty well settled into a lonely, reclusive state. I go no job, no girl, no prospects, yet this is the least depressed I've been all year. In fact, I'd go as far as saying I'm not at all depressed, although I'll probably be eating those words in a day or two. But I really have made great strides in removing myself from society and not caring about it. Loneliness and depression are two very different establishments, and I think I've learned to separate them and know what's what. Except for that I've been having a bunch of sex dreams lately on account of how horny for sex I am. But my dreams are fucking fucked up always. I'm so pathetic in them. A lot of my sex dreams don't even involve coitus, but rather the events before coitus that make the act impossible, like not being able to find a condom or other obstacles like having to swing across pools of alligators on brittle vines or having to make gay sex with a man first before I can have the normal straight kind with a girl or any other such absoludicrous act.
Ia. Nocturnal Emissions: A Closer Look
And I never know the girl either, it's always some mysterious bitch. The last one I had that actually ended up with a blown load was pretty pathetic too. I was at a train station and all of a sudden I was having sex, but as soon as I ejaculated, the girl got really disgusted with me and I felt like a total loser. I think it was because I only lasted like a minute before shooting jisms. Then the other night I was having sex in my dream and I'm like, "All right, Shenoy, make it last. Don't go too soon, remember what happened the last time. Take it easy. Follow your heart. We're gonna need a bigger boat." But I ended up taking too long! And before I knew it, I was at some stupid hippie music festival surrounded by idiot hippies who were all smiles. Ugh. What a waste.
II. What I've Been Doing: The Movies I've Seen, Shutting My Fucking Mouth
It's just been me in my room with the Infranet and Netflix. I've seen more movies in the past month than most people see in a month and a half. Just last night I saw Psycho (1960) for the first time. It's very Hitchcockian, in that Alfred Hitchcock directed it, and I'll have to say that it's easily one of the best acted movies ever, mainly on Anthony Perkins' part. I can relate a lot to Norman Bates because I run a motel and kill bitches. The only thing I didn't like was the psychiatrist and his speech at the end. He really hammed it up.
Then I watched Grey Gardens (1975) which is about a mother-daughter team who, much like Norman Bates and myself, are hermits who live in their own filth. This movie, like all other documentaries, made me question myself as to why I'd watch a documentary, knowing that I hate documentaries. So I hate them even more now. Fuck them, I say.
Also I saw Apocalypse Now (1979) which I loved except for Marlon Brando and Dennis Hopper, whom I hate just as much as I hate documentaries, if not more. Fucking Brando, why does everyone think that fat piece of shit is a good actor when all he is is a fat piece of shit? And Dennis Hopper can go fuck himself.
And I also saw Broken Flowers (2005). I wasn't too fond of it, but I think I just need to see it on a bigger screen with better projection and sound. Malverne has good movies, but it's such a shitty operation because of how Indie it is. It's so Indie. I should probably see it again because Bill Murray has never let me down before, so it's more my fault than anyone else's. Or maybe I should shut my fucking mouth.
III. What Else I've Been Doing: A Very Few Things
Other than sitting in darkness watching movies on my computer, I've been slowly removing marijuana from my life. So I've been doing that. And also I've been drinking at bars and bullshitting with my few friends. All paid for by my wealthy parents. I'm such a disgrace.
I mean, I'm really looking forward to going back to school September 6th, but for now, fuck it. I'm a loner, Dottie...a rebel. I want to try crack and heroin at least once before I turn 22, cause it's all downhill from there.
IV. Conclusion: Getting Pictures Developed of My Niece Maia, A LiveJournal Cut
And also, I went and got those pictures I took of my beautiful niece developed and also tried to get a disposable camera whose film expired in 1995 developed. The dude's like "the pictures came out, but only on negatives. The machine wouldn't take them." I felt like spearing him with a pitchfork for telling me such a bold faced lie. But he was Hispanic, I think, and I can't afford another hate crime on my record. Anyway, in the cut below are pictures of adorable Maia, my sister, and me.
( the aforementioned cut )
I think I'm pretty well settled into a lonely, reclusive state. I go no job, no girl, no prospects, yet this is the least depressed I've been all year. In fact, I'd go as far as saying I'm not at all depressed, although I'll probably be eating those words in a day or two. But I really have made great strides in removing myself from society and not caring about it. Loneliness and depression are two very different establishments, and I think I've learned to separate them and know what's what. Except for that I've been having a bunch of sex dreams lately on account of how horny for sex I am. But my dreams are fucking fucked up always. I'm so pathetic in them. A lot of my sex dreams don't even involve coitus, but rather the events before coitus that make the act impossible, like not being able to find a condom or other obstacles like having to swing across pools of alligators on brittle vines or having to make gay sex with a man first before I can have the normal straight kind with a girl or any other such absoludicrous act.
Ia. Nocturnal Emissions: A Closer Look
And I never know the girl either, it's always some mysterious bitch. The last one I had that actually ended up with a blown load was pretty pathetic too. I was at a train station and all of a sudden I was having sex, but as soon as I ejaculated, the girl got really disgusted with me and I felt like a total loser. I think it was because I only lasted like a minute before shooting jisms. Then the other night I was having sex in my dream and I'm like, "All right, Shenoy, make it last. Don't go too soon, remember what happened the last time. Take it easy. Follow your heart. We're gonna need a bigger boat." But I ended up taking too long! And before I knew it, I was at some stupid hippie music festival surrounded by idiot hippies who were all smiles. Ugh. What a waste.
II. What I've Been Doing: The Movies I've Seen, Shutting My Fucking Mouth
It's just been me in my room with the Infranet and Netflix. I've seen more movies in the past month than most people see in a month and a half. Just last night I saw Psycho (1960) for the first time. It's very Hitchcockian, in that Alfred Hitchcock directed it, and I'll have to say that it's easily one of the best acted movies ever, mainly on Anthony Perkins' part. I can relate a lot to Norman Bates because I run a motel and kill bitches. The only thing I didn't like was the psychiatrist and his speech at the end. He really hammed it up.
Then I watched Grey Gardens (1975) which is about a mother-daughter team who, much like Norman Bates and myself, are hermits who live in their own filth. This movie, like all other documentaries, made me question myself as to why I'd watch a documentary, knowing that I hate documentaries. So I hate them even more now. Fuck them, I say.
Also I saw Apocalypse Now (1979) which I loved except for Marlon Brando and Dennis Hopper, whom I hate just as much as I hate documentaries, if not more. Fucking Brando, why does everyone think that fat piece of shit is a good actor when all he is is a fat piece of shit? And Dennis Hopper can go fuck himself.
And I also saw Broken Flowers (2005). I wasn't too fond of it, but I think I just need to see it on a bigger screen with better projection and sound. Malverne has good movies, but it's such a shitty operation because of how Indie it is. It's so Indie. I should probably see it again because Bill Murray has never let me down before, so it's more my fault than anyone else's. Or maybe I should shut my fucking mouth.
III. What Else I've Been Doing: A Very Few Things
Other than sitting in darkness watching movies on my computer, I've been slowly removing marijuana from my life. So I've been doing that. And also I've been drinking at bars and bullshitting with my few friends. All paid for by my wealthy parents. I'm such a disgrace.
I mean, I'm really looking forward to going back to school September 6th, but for now, fuck it. I'm a loner, Dottie...a rebel. I want to try crack and heroin at least once before I turn 22, cause it's all downhill from there.
IV. Conclusion: Getting Pictures Developed of My Niece Maia, A LiveJournal Cut
And also, I went and got those pictures I took of my beautiful niece developed and also tried to get a disposable camera whose film expired in 1995 developed. The dude's like "the pictures came out, but only on negatives. The machine wouldn't take them." I felt like spearing him with a pitchfork for telling me such a bold faced lie. But he was Hispanic, I think, and I can't afford another hate crime on my record. Anyway, in the cut below are pictures of adorable Maia, my sister, and me.
( the aforementioned cut )
