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Apr. 20th, 2005 05:42 pmThe Incredibles (2004)
Director: Brad Bird
The wizards at Dreamworks have done it again. I mean, Pixar.
The Incredibles is about a family of superheroes who do stuff like run fast, stretch real long, get invisible, be strong, and put ice all over the place. They aren't allowed to be super after a while into the movie because they get sued by the people they help. Like a guy who was trying to jump off a building and Mr. Incredible, voiced by Craig T(heodore) Nelson (The Devil's Advocate, Turner & Hootch), catches him but then the guy sues him. So they can't even use their superhuman powers (i.e. being on fire, flying in midair) and have to be relocated by the government, like Ray Liotta (Goodfellas, Muppets from Space) in Goodfellas, only in 3D.
So Mr. Incredible, known for his ability to break enormous things and he doesn't get hurt that much, marries Elastigirl, voiced by Holly Hunter (The Piano, Woman Wanted), and Mr. Incredible shoves his giant dick into Elastigirl's elastic V(not shown) until they make three children who, because their parents were superheroes and genetics, also have super talents: the boy runs fast, the girl disappears and makes a forcefield, and the baby does a lot of things, but you don't know that until the end. They think he can't do anything, but at the end of the movie he can do so much stuff, such as be on fire and fly around. Then they have to join forces and use their fantastic abilities, even though they're not allowed to do that, because they have to finally destroy Jason Lee (Almost Famous, Jersey Girl) because he fucks with the dad's shit.
It takes them a while, but they finally destroy Jason Lee and it ends by Jason Lee's cape getting sucked into the jet, which is foreshadowed in the scene when Mr. Incredible goes to this little Asian queer who makes suits. But before that, Jason Lee turns out to be the kid Mr. Incredible molested back when he was a legal superhero. See, because in the archaic sense, "molest" means to disturb, interfere with, or annoy, all of which Mr. Incredible is guilty. There was an explosion. Yeah, the ending is intense.
This movie is awesome. It makes A Bug's Life look like Antz, and makes Antz look like Benny & Joon meets Three Ninjas. It makes CGI stand for Completely Great and I think it's the best movie I've seen since Teen Wolf 2, which I saw on TV last night. I think the Incredibles is a great movie. Elastigirl has to be the hottest animated character in my life, second only to Leela from "Futurama", and then comes Princess Jasmine, then Penny from "Inspector Gadget."
But what I liked most was how gay it made me. See, because in the archaic sense, "gay" means showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearded excitement," which, along the fact that I'm gay, is technically true.
On a scale from "inconceivable" to "incogitable," The Incredibles is "outstanding."
Director: Brad Bird
The wizards at Dreamworks have done it again. I mean, Pixar.
The Incredibles is about a family of superheroes who do stuff like run fast, stretch real long, get invisible, be strong, and put ice all over the place. They aren't allowed to be super after a while into the movie because they get sued by the people they help. Like a guy who was trying to jump off a building and Mr. Incredible, voiced by Craig T(heodore) Nelson (The Devil's Advocate, Turner & Hootch), catches him but then the guy sues him. So they can't even use their superhuman powers (i.e. being on fire, flying in midair) and have to be relocated by the government, like Ray Liotta (Goodfellas, Muppets from Space) in Goodfellas, only in 3D.
So Mr. Incredible, known for his ability to break enormous things and he doesn't get hurt that much, marries Elastigirl, voiced by Holly Hunter (The Piano, Woman Wanted), and Mr. Incredible shoves his giant dick into Elastigirl's elastic V(not shown) until they make three children who, because their parents were superheroes and genetics, also have super talents: the boy runs fast, the girl disappears and makes a forcefield, and the baby does a lot of things, but you don't know that until the end. They think he can't do anything, but at the end of the movie he can do so much stuff, such as be on fire and fly around. Then they have to join forces and use their fantastic abilities, even though they're not allowed to do that, because they have to finally destroy Jason Lee (Almost Famous, Jersey Girl) because he fucks with the dad's shit.
It takes them a while, but they finally destroy Jason Lee and it ends by Jason Lee's cape getting sucked into the jet, which is foreshadowed in the scene when Mr. Incredible goes to this little Asian queer who makes suits. But before that, Jason Lee turns out to be the kid Mr. Incredible molested back when he was a legal superhero. See, because in the archaic sense, "molest" means to disturb, interfere with, or annoy, all of which Mr. Incredible is guilty. There was an explosion. Yeah, the ending is intense.
This movie is awesome. It makes A Bug's Life look like Antz, and makes Antz look like Benny & Joon meets Three Ninjas. It makes CGI stand for Completely Great and I think it's the best movie I've seen since Teen Wolf 2, which I saw on TV last night. I think the Incredibles is a great movie. Elastigirl has to be the hottest animated character in my life, second only to Leela from "Futurama", and then comes Princess Jasmine, then Penny from "Inspector Gadget."
But what I liked most was how gay it made me. See, because in the archaic sense, "gay" means showing or characterized by cheerfulness and lighthearded excitement," which, along the fact that I'm gay, is technically true.
On a scale from "inconceivable" to "incogitable," The Incredibles is "outstanding."
