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My sister is still pregnant. She found out it's going to be a girl and says she's going to name her Maya. Maya is going to be my niece. What's cool is that Maya's birthday is guesstimated to be May 13th. If she waits 4 days to come out, we'll have the same birthday. May is probably the best month to be born, I swear. You're a Taurus, Shenoy.
Maya is a nice name. I sometimes think of what I'd want my kids' names to be. I mean, there are tons of names. I don't understand why people still name their kids Michael or Sarah. Dime a dozen names those are. They've lost all meaning. I'm pretty set on naming my son Eggs Benedict. It's a pretty awesome name. Son, yeah right, like I'm ever going to have kids. Get a grip, Shenoy.
So I'm going to be Maya's uncle Satyajit. The only thing I know about her father is that his name is Jason and that I don't like him. If the slightest wrongdoing is done on his part it's lights out for Jason. All the Argonauts in the world couldn't stop me from tearing his limbs off. You know, like The Iliad. But that's a whole other bowl of rotting turd shits. I gotta concentrate on the turd shits at hand. Aim to do good, Shenoy.
My name, Satyajit, my mom tells me, means something like 'the truthful one.' Gandhi had this thing that he had called Satyagraha which translates into "truth force." A lot of good that name does me, every other word out of my mouth is dishonest. Come to terms, Shenoy
One time I was late for work. Unfortunately this man needed his cake to be ready by 12pm. Well I ambled into work about an hour and a half late. So when this guy finally came in, I knew he was going to bitch to me about how he came at the right time, but nobody was in the store. So before he could say anything I told him that I was late because there was a small loss in the family. I emphasized the word "small," so he assumed, as I assumed he would, that it was a pet. Basically I got him to lie for more, not that it justifies anything. So he's all, "I know what it's like to lose a pet." Wake up and smell the coffee, Shenoy.
Honestly, this was the first time I lied about death. And it wasn't even necessary to lie in this case. I'm pretty good about getting bitched at, and this was squarely my fault. And I'd never lie about a family member dying. And being that I don't have any pets, whatever, fuck it. I have no remorse. Don't make it bad, Shenoy.
Then this other time I tried limping to see if I'd get more tips in the cup. It worked. I don't do that too often because I'm not confident with my limp, it needs some fine tuning for credibility. Find a happy place, Shenoy.
I got this paper to write that's due at 9. I have a plan to wake up early and bust it out (and you don't stop), in the true spirit of procrastination. Go to sleep, Shenoy.
Maya is a nice name. I sometimes think of what I'd want my kids' names to be. I mean, there are tons of names. I don't understand why people still name their kids Michael or Sarah. Dime a dozen names those are. They've lost all meaning. I'm pretty set on naming my son Eggs Benedict. It's a pretty awesome name. Son, yeah right, like I'm ever going to have kids. Get a grip, Shenoy.
So I'm going to be Maya's uncle Satyajit. The only thing I know about her father is that his name is Jason and that I don't like him. If the slightest wrongdoing is done on his part it's lights out for Jason. All the Argonauts in the world couldn't stop me from tearing his limbs off. You know, like The Iliad. But that's a whole other bowl of rotting turd shits. I gotta concentrate on the turd shits at hand. Aim to do good, Shenoy.
My name, Satyajit, my mom tells me, means something like 'the truthful one.' Gandhi had this thing that he had called Satyagraha which translates into "truth force." A lot of good that name does me, every other word out of my mouth is dishonest. Come to terms, Shenoy
One time I was late for work. Unfortunately this man needed his cake to be ready by 12pm. Well I ambled into work about an hour and a half late. So when this guy finally came in, I knew he was going to bitch to me about how he came at the right time, but nobody was in the store. So before he could say anything I told him that I was late because there was a small loss in the family. I emphasized the word "small," so he assumed, as I assumed he would, that it was a pet. Basically I got him to lie for more, not that it justifies anything. So he's all, "I know what it's like to lose a pet." Wake up and smell the coffee, Shenoy.
Honestly, this was the first time I lied about death. And it wasn't even necessary to lie in this case. I'm pretty good about getting bitched at, and this was squarely my fault. And I'd never lie about a family member dying. And being that I don't have any pets, whatever, fuck it. I have no remorse. Don't make it bad, Shenoy.
Then this other time I tried limping to see if I'd get more tips in the cup. It worked. I don't do that too often because I'm not confident with my limp, it needs some fine tuning for credibility. Find a happy place, Shenoy.
I got this paper to write that's due at 9. I have a plan to wake up early and bust it out (and you don't stop), in the true spirit of procrastination. Go to sleep, Shenoy.
