Where men can't walk or freely talk, and sons turn their fathers in.

I made this last week:



Then I won this in a truth-telling contest:



Sometimes I get these dreams about having to go to gym class. I hate it so much because gym class sucked so much. But recently, I had a wild dream about converting to Buddhism. A real fantastical dream that involved smoking this magical Buddhist bong in a mass conversion of 100 or so people. When we exhaled, our essence came out in some sort of orb that glowed, resembling crystal, as in transparency or distinctness of structure or outline. And the monks trapped the essence, but not in a bad way. They did something cool with it and returned it to us and sent us to monk camp. It was wild.

I'm watching Nickelodeon now. Britney Spears' sister has a show on Nickelodeon, which I think is pretty cool, because there's nothing more American than making a shitload of money when you're a talentless thirteen-year-old on account of you have a talentless older sibling whose million-dollar coattails are flapping in the idiotic breeze of their fartlike, lip-synced vocals. And also, the Nickelodeon "Big Q Results" from nick dot com are: Blink 182-38%; Simple Plan-62%. There's a 100% margin of stupidity.

I can't even tell the bathrooms apart.