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Chinese penis trap
Nov. 2nd, 2004 11:48 amThere are three words that I avoid saying because I learned them on my own and didn't hear them pronounced until long after. These words are "awry," which I pronounce aw-ree, "lingerie," which I pronounce ling-a-ree, and "malady," which I pronounce m'lady. Once in a while I'll let one slip and hope that nobody notices, but for the most part I'm good at keeping my secret.
I needed lip balm today bad, so I bought this Chap Stik brand extra moisture bullshit from the school store. When I threw out the tamper seal, I threw the cap along with it. You can have assless chaps, but you can't have a capless Chap Stik. So I went back and got Burt's Bees, cause that's the good shit, and the same lady rang me up. I joked, "I love spending money." And she believed me, so I said, "I'm just kidding." I wish I didn't have to tell her I was kidding. I always hate having to add that I'm kidding, especially because I'm pretty much always kidding. I've tried to get my delivery to say it for me, but there are always people too gullible for their own good.
Today I teach violin and piano. I'm a fraud. I'm a mediocre violin player and I don't know nothing about the piano. Whatever, hopefully they'll be little kids. I shouldn't have even asked for this job, but RVC music school didn't have any violin teachers, so it's not like I had any competition. There's going to be some voting today. I'm voting for John F. I'm nervous that George W will win. I'm not very politically-minded at all, but I can spot an idiot a mile away. George W. Bush is a genuinely stupid person. He looks and acts and speaks like a stupid person. It's embarrassing to have him as our president and I'm embarrassed that the race is so close. I just wish people were smarter.
If for nothing else, I'm voting for Kerry because his pronunciation is better. I bet he flies though words like awry, lingerie, and malady with the greatest of ease. Yep, he's my man.
I needed lip balm today bad, so I bought this Chap Stik brand extra moisture bullshit from the school store. When I threw out the tamper seal, I threw the cap along with it. You can have assless chaps, but you can't have a capless Chap Stik. So I went back and got Burt's Bees, cause that's the good shit, and the same lady rang me up. I joked, "I love spending money." And she believed me, so I said, "I'm just kidding." I wish I didn't have to tell her I was kidding. I always hate having to add that I'm kidding, especially because I'm pretty much always kidding. I've tried to get my delivery to say it for me, but there are always people too gullible for their own good.
Today I teach violin and piano. I'm a fraud. I'm a mediocre violin player and I don't know nothing about the piano. Whatever, hopefully they'll be little kids. I shouldn't have even asked for this job, but RVC music school didn't have any violin teachers, so it's not like I had any competition. There's going to be some voting today. I'm voting for John F. I'm nervous that George W will win. I'm not very politically-minded at all, but I can spot an idiot a mile away. George W. Bush is a genuinely stupid person. He looks and acts and speaks like a stupid person. It's embarrassing to have him as our president and I'm embarrassed that the race is so close. I just wish people were smarter.
If for nothing else, I'm voting for Kerry because his pronunciation is better. I bet he flies though words like awry, lingerie, and malady with the greatest of ease. Yep, he's my man.
