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Man did I have work today. This bitch called today and had me pack a quart and make a banana split and said she was going to come in 20 minutes to pick it up, which she never did. That's the oldest trick in the book and I fell for it. The quart was no big shit, because I just scooped it back from whence it came. But the banana split, that's permanent stuff. You can't take it apart. It's done when it's done and when it's done, it's done and you can't do shit about it. So now it's just sitting in the freezer, laughing at me.
I can't believe a grown person could be that inconsiderate. Actually I can. Because they can. Like this other fuck who ordered a banana split--incidentally the most complicated of the frozen desserts--and right after I peeled the banana, reneged. You can't do that shit. Peeling a banana is like circumcising a penis. You might be able to sew the skin back on, but it won't be the same. So instead he ordered a sundae. I asked if he wanted bananas in it and he said no! He went from wanting a banana split to shunning bananas altogether! I repeated my question and he repeated his answer. Then I said this, maybe one of the best things I've ever said: "I suggest you get bananas. It would make me a lot less angry at you." He laughed and agreed to my demands. I'm glad I stuck up for myself, I don't do that very often. I served customers non-stop for 45 minutes, by my lonesome. I wasn't about to peel a banana in vain for some fickle bitch who can't make up his mind about irrepairable fruit.
Then this lady came in asking if we had sugar-free ice cream. When I told her that we didn't, she asked why. Questions like that just can't be answered, so I said, "That's the way God made us." I think she got pretty pissed, because she walked out and went to Baskin Robbins, just down the street. People can't deal with my awesome wit. But that's nobody's fault but my own.
And this really pretty girl, smart-looking, sharply dressed, young in appearance but rather ambiguous in age asked if we were hiring. I think she was probably asking for someone else, because she didn't look like the type to stoop to my level of employment. I offered her an application and she replied, stoically, "no, I just wanted to know if you were hiring." This 15-yr-old chick came in for an application one time and I had impure thoughts about her. My thing went doi-oi-oi-oi-oing so I dipped it in the Rum Raisin.
Tonight on MacGuyver...MacGuyver...MacGuyver...MacGuyver.
I can't believe a grown person could be that inconsiderate. Actually I can. Because they can. Like this other fuck who ordered a banana split--incidentally the most complicated of the frozen desserts--and right after I peeled the banana, reneged. You can't do that shit. Peeling a banana is like circumcising a penis. You might be able to sew the skin back on, but it won't be the same. So instead he ordered a sundae. I asked if he wanted bananas in it and he said no! He went from wanting a banana split to shunning bananas altogether! I repeated my question and he repeated his answer. Then I said this, maybe one of the best things I've ever said: "I suggest you get bananas. It would make me a lot less angry at you." He laughed and agreed to my demands. I'm glad I stuck up for myself, I don't do that very often. I served customers non-stop for 45 minutes, by my lonesome. I wasn't about to peel a banana in vain for some fickle bitch who can't make up his mind about irrepairable fruit.
Then this lady came in asking if we had sugar-free ice cream. When I told her that we didn't, she asked why. Questions like that just can't be answered, so I said, "That's the way God made us." I think she got pretty pissed, because she walked out and went to Baskin Robbins, just down the street. People can't deal with my awesome wit. But that's nobody's fault but my own.
And this really pretty girl, smart-looking, sharply dressed, young in appearance but rather ambiguous in age asked if we were hiring. I think she was probably asking for someone else, because she didn't look like the type to stoop to my level of employment. I offered her an application and she replied, stoically, "no, I just wanted to know if you were hiring." This 15-yr-old chick came in for an application one time and I had impure thoughts about her. My thing went doi-oi-oi-oi-oing so I dipped it in the Rum Raisin.
Tonight on MacGuyver...MacGuyver...MacGuyver...MacGuyver.
