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I didn't sleep last night. It was too cold to sleep, so I didn't sleep. Simple as that.
I don't recall how I passed the time, but I know that by the end I was cooking eggs and making coffee at 6:45 AM. The eggs turned out pretty well, scrambled. But the coffee was way too strong. I used the milk left over from a bowl of Cinnamon Toasted Oatmeal Squares cereal to take the edge off of the coffee. What a stupid idea that was, let me tell you. I thought I was on to something, but I was way off. What I did was absurd and uncalled for and I regret ever having even thought of the idea.
I then watched whatever god awful morning show they have on ABC with that tool and that whore, Good Morning America? Anyway two things caught my attention while watching these idiots spit bullshit at the camera. I caught a glimpse of the news ticker at the bottom of the screen that is now commonplace on every news channel. The ticker just gives headlines, which is absolutely useless, misleading information with no follow up and no resolve. Also, I myself find it damn near impossible to pay attention to both the ticker and the reporters, so something's gotta go. Anyway, when my eyes happened upon the ticker, a headline passed which read "STRAY CAT INHERITS HOUSE, LARGE TRUST FUND." I just looked it up and sure enough, it's true, as can be proven here. I've submitted the story to Fark. So if you see it up there, you know who to thank.
The second thing that caught my attention was a stupid, stupid, stupid, fucking stupid plug for an ABC news story about fear. I'll set it up as best I can: ominous music, the phrases "WAR," "SARS," and "LOSING YOUR JOB," fade in and out on the screen, and a deep, booming voice over says, "Could these fears put you more at risk?" FUCKING FIND OUT AT 11. YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING MORONS. WHY IS EVERYONE SO GODDAMNED STUPID? WHAT PASSES FOR NEWS THESE DAYS???
In other news, there's a new show on TNN called Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. I've seen only one episode, but it is bar none the funniest fucking shit on TV right now. It is absolutely impossible not to laugh at this show. I literally fell out of the couch and onto the floor laughing. Then I fell from the floor to the ceiling. Then back onto the couch. It was just that funny.
Also, I thought of an invention the other day. I can't really tell all the details, but I'll tell you these two things: it involves shoes AND it involves ball bearings too AND it also involves breakdancing as well. This invention may very well revolutionize the art of dance.
One more thing. I don't want to alarm anyone, but the chances of me returning to school next semester are in the neighborhood of slim to none. On one hand, I genuinely want to continue my education at this school and feel that I have the mental capacity to do so. But as genuine as I am, I'm also a fucking pussy bitch bastard and I fuck up no matter how genuine I say I am. So I don't know what course of action I'm going to take. Hopefully I'll strike it big with my revolutionary invention. Or maybe I'll write the great American novel under the pen name Rasputin. Or maybe I'll die before action needs to be taken.
Yesterday was supposed to be the day I was going to turn my life around. Today is going to be the day I am going to turn my life around.
I don't recall how I passed the time, but I know that by the end I was cooking eggs and making coffee at 6:45 AM. The eggs turned out pretty well, scrambled. But the coffee was way too strong. I used the milk left over from a bowl of Cinnamon Toasted Oatmeal Squares cereal to take the edge off of the coffee. What a stupid idea that was, let me tell you. I thought I was on to something, but I was way off. What I did was absurd and uncalled for and I regret ever having even thought of the idea.
I then watched whatever god awful morning show they have on ABC with that tool and that whore, Good Morning America? Anyway two things caught my attention while watching these idiots spit bullshit at the camera. I caught a glimpse of the news ticker at the bottom of the screen that is now commonplace on every news channel. The ticker just gives headlines, which is absolutely useless, misleading information with no follow up and no resolve. Also, I myself find it damn near impossible to pay attention to both the ticker and the reporters, so something's gotta go. Anyway, when my eyes happened upon the ticker, a headline passed which read "STRAY CAT INHERITS HOUSE, LARGE TRUST FUND." I just looked it up and sure enough, it's true, as can be proven here. I've submitted the story to Fark. So if you see it up there, you know who to thank.
The second thing that caught my attention was a stupid, stupid, stupid, fucking stupid plug for an ABC news story about fear. I'll set it up as best I can: ominous music, the phrases "WAR," "SARS," and "LOSING YOUR JOB," fade in and out on the screen, and a deep, booming voice over says, "Could these fears put you more at risk?" FUCKING FIND OUT AT 11. YOU PEOPLE ARE FUCKING MORONS. WHY IS EVERYONE SO GODDAMNED STUPID? WHAT PASSES FOR NEWS THESE DAYS???
In other news, there's a new show on TNN called Most Extreme Elimination Challenge. I've seen only one episode, but it is bar none the funniest fucking shit on TV right now. It is absolutely impossible not to laugh at this show. I literally fell out of the couch and onto the floor laughing. Then I fell from the floor to the ceiling. Then back onto the couch. It was just that funny.
Also, I thought of an invention the other day. I can't really tell all the details, but I'll tell you these two things: it involves shoes AND it involves ball bearings too AND it also involves breakdancing as well. This invention may very well revolutionize the art of dance.
One more thing. I don't want to alarm anyone, but the chances of me returning to school next semester are in the neighborhood of slim to none. On one hand, I genuinely want to continue my education at this school and feel that I have the mental capacity to do so. But as genuine as I am, I'm also a fucking pussy bitch bastard and I fuck up no matter how genuine I say I am. So I don't know what course of action I'm going to take. Hopefully I'll strike it big with my revolutionary invention. Or maybe I'll write the great American novel under the pen name Rasputin. Or maybe I'll die before action needs to be taken.
Yesterday was supposed to be the day I was going to turn my life around. Today is going to be the day I am going to turn my life around.
